How insignificant is one's power...

Today was a nice day something worth to keep in memories again >< crazy ppl can frm paradigm mall shopping till time square wow...wat a change xD...took sometime to chose someone present...but i hope she like it xD......haiz...then later on...on a train felt so useless....I cant believe we dint even notice it...so useless...I really feel Im a failure for a man...how can i let tat happen to ppl tat are close to me?then it is revealed thr are more tat are close to me that face the same thing...i feel ashamed not noticing it not knowing it....haiz....is it why they all leave me?cause im useless?failure as a man and a mummy....Knowing the world it is now like tat...yet i dint expect it to happen to people close to me...haiz...I really have to be more observant...feel sorry for my girls......I only wish to have the power to protect....the ppl close to me...Time draws near to the end....I wonder if i will still be me when i rush on my own path tat im ready to set out...i hope i could still have all this wonder full friends...i wan to protect this bonds...for the road ahead i walk wont be an easy one to attain true freedom...I will walk the path of those success full people's they inspire me....i hope this path wont cut my bonds wif all my current friends...school is ending soon...so far yet so near...This is wat it meant by growing up isn't it??sometime i wish i could think more easier...i feel my mindset and thinking are so far from the peoples around me now...how very fragile i am... :(...I close my eyes as i wish for it to end a happy end...