End of SAM

18/11/2013 The official day that my Pre-U have ended wow 2013 is coming to an end too. A lot have happen today too. Just after the last paper econ I went with my classmates to celebrate and thank our teachers for everything for the year it was a long late lunch haha and a great chat where I no longer have attachment to education to my lecturers but see them as a friend a mentor now learn the sides of them I never knew before and surprising them with knowledge I gain from my financial mentors it was awesome sharing session. Then while I drive home around 5PM it was quite a heavy traffic then I met with an accident knock into a lorry :( no effect at all to the lorry but my front bumper was quite damaged and the impact knock my body forward ouch luckily it wasn't too serious sorry city chan :( but my body sure is pain then I stop around Smk menjalara to check the damage and try knock back the bumper the moment when i get out and closing door another car knock my door from the side hitting me again surprise by it i stun and look at the driver the driver stop and keep sorry sorry sorry oh well then i see my door no damage ok ba, i proceed to mend my car well not so bad i guess? then ouch...the inside engine part some plastic break le and loss 2 of the screws oh well..sorry city chan i would fix you as soon as possible!
Then after reaching home have dinner around 7 30 pm i fetch my sis from ballet and send her home then i proceed to DPC to yum cha with miss Aggie my accounting teacher only to found out all my other classmates have FFK and only left me alone well ok then had a great sharing session with her and know more about her she really is a good teacher that know her students well even if she doesn't shows it and know her students weaknesses and strength although she does not shows it. She too was happy for me as I know what I want and notice my absence during the revision week well correct i was busy with silver malaysia and CAG and WIG events skip class often that time and have gain many valuable network and contacts she advice me on quite many things too haha really great full to have such a caring teacher I would definitely help her to protect her wealth with the things I can add value to her in the future when I learn more from Jonathan! Around 9 45 PM she had to go back her daughter sleeping time well that girl sure is cute always so silent today outside so hyper active! for some reason she invited me go to her house haha then Miss aggie told me you quite big ah she dont invite people de haha well after she hit me of course hmm I wonder why kids like to hit me?? I really look so good to bully? hit me they happy I act sakit then they like me why ah??haha i really wonder. Then she went home I take a short stroll at DPC to calm myself and have inner peace and look and the nice clear sky full moon it was a cooling night then I flashback all that have happen this year and smile while tears rolls down many thing have happen over these eleven months I have grown and finally taken action towards the dream I always talk about my network expanded suddenly with like minded peoples it was a mind blowing event in my life by far and also inspire me further to move forward as these young people can achieve success by adding value to others at their young age I too will do that One day VG industry would come true no definitely not immediately but definitely at my pace :) Now Im trying to reduce my attachments I really had too much attachments before to people that do not appreciates me it is true what jon and candice say Its no use teaching a pig to sing unless a pig would like to sing I cannot force others to do unless they themselves would like to. People come and go some people are meant to leave you when your paths divides but on the way you will meet more people that would help you the and you will help them to become what you want to be My many binding attachments in the earlier year have cause me much pain and grieve because i mind too much and is too much attach to people with different ideas and purpose that does not appreciates me i am wasting their time and mine but now i am slowly cutting it down this attachments to gain more power in my life is a give and take relationship it always must be a equivalent exchange orelese the balance and bond will definitely break sooner or later But no matter how I still will appreciate everything because without the past there will be no me Victor today I was shape through these I accept this is what I want and this future I want to reach and create that I take action to do what I do now I dont regret it I accept whatever is too come and strive forward Remember no one can help you if you do not want to help yourself if anyone approach me for help I am more than happy to provide it if you are willing and wish to help yourself :) Onwards and all the best to everyone work hard and smart! :D

The person you want to be

there is a saying of who you hang out with the most will determine what you will become in the future this is environment affect its a common thing herd instinct if you find there is a gap in your life a hole in your heart then go out and seek the problem and find the way to solve it do not be afraid of making mistakes or failures this will grow us to what we want to be. every obstacles that are there to hinder us bring us 1 step backward but raise our knowledge to move 2 step forward I believe that with true willpower and faith anyone can succeed in their own ways how far depends on how much they limit their mind. You and I are all the same humans we will have times where we will feel down and this are the times we should seek positive energy to boost ourselves from the hole in the heart to prepare to move further. Most importantly no matter how we think and how we are we must always never forget of the people around us who are those who are there for you regardless of good or bad times and those who are not appreciate the simple things in life only then you can move far and stay humble :)

To me

Question that have a uncertain or hidden truth...very well I'll answer for myself then.

You are someone irreplaceable someone who I care deeply that I'll do anything even if it is stupid or at a disadvantage for me...I'll sacrifice for you...someone whom...I fall deeply...like a idiot...

Nothing last forever...if we take everything for granted..we will regret it deeply when its gone...care for everything around us and appreciate them. you never know how important it's worth is until you lose it.

A shattered reality...A lose past...A world I no longer knew.

Inside it is empty...outside a mask of lies...and so I walked away...I cant take it.

So...I made a decision one that will change my world...and embrace the future.

unrequited love.

Character

So this is what it is meant by "Birds of a feather flock together".

When the mindset changes the world changes...

Sacrifice must be made in order for a change

Will i be forgotten? And dissapear in the shadows? Left all alone again...the transition.

Dont leave me too will you?

Character never forget to have that and always have a clear sight of your objectives.

Move forward...on the way new lights and oppotunity shall present itself.

Responsibility to one selves

We must always be responsible for the choices and action we take not anyone else but ourselves. You can make it here You can make it out it is a two way relation simple and easy...ask your conciousness and you will find the answer.
I wont not say is right or wrong...no matter what is your choice I will respect. you have my blessing whichever path you choose. Responsibility and respect to our selves and to others are very important never forget that...as we grow older...this burden will become heavier...all the best....it pains me but this is life....we must accept coming and goings as part of it...nothing last forever...even though is cowardly...I wish...I could run and go into a long slumber...to rest...a lot have happen...I'm really tired now....both mentally and physically...a war awaits me...ahead...let me crumble now...and regain strength before its too late...sorry...but the things I learned this few days...yeah...and have to turn all this into a driving power to move forward...cant look back...need to chase ahead...but I wish....yeah accept the passing when the times has come...do not hold back...accept the truth...and smile...That alone is enough.. :)

Resurrection (Chapter Fear)

Its happening again...How did I keep ending up in a half asleep half awake state recently?....Its that dream again....Maybe its due too being half awake I can remember it clearly....tat feeling...like being watch...being cursed...It all started after that genting crash....I have fear to drive my car alone now.....always checking the horn...and highlight...it seems so real....always end when I manage to break...but...every time it happens I always awoken suddenly with my heart beating extremely fast that is hurts...what is this feeling....I'm...really scare...it feels like it is directly in me...showing me....it does not feel like I'm latched on too...but it feels like being cursed....It hurts....I'm really scare...this is fear...help...Is this a physiological disorder or supernatural at play....I dunno...

Resurrection (Extra chapter moonlight memoria)

The sky tonight is a very clear one as all the stars are abnormally beautiful yet visible. But the one that kept me questioning was the moon...it was abnormally mesmerising yet sinister...what is this feeling in my chest my heart?...i woke up not knowing what i dreamt for the past few days...yet it seem so real...like i was waking from a dreams dream?and yet nothing remains...this feeling...hmm...

I have no idea...but..i am sure of a thing...that is something missing I'm forgetting something very important but what is it?this feeling...as i look up to the distant sky...unable to shake off the heavy feeling...yet i am content...seems like it was right..if we choose to do so and wish to do so...the result will be what we wanted so everything is really in our head...hehe...i hope...i can see clearly...what is it about...i want to now the truth...what is it that i have forgotten...living in the present and moving forward seeing the possibilities and opportunities around...optimistic yet sensitive. Put full trust orelse dun trust at all just like the moon that shines. :)

M

Resurrection (Last chapter The lost star and the last star)

Human will always seek perfection to satisfied their desires...By chasing after something which doesn't really exist but refuse to admit it as it will show how foolish the person is...and so this is the lost star...a star that never really existed but people believe in its existence hence the name lost star...
We are often confronted by our emotions to make decisions this emotions will stir up a war within our insides...but when we finally make up our mind can we be sure our sub concious and concious are the same?
What we know our concious is only 5% of ourselves the remaining 95% are our sub concious the part we do not know but is ourselves. Blindly chasing after something that I believe its real...to no ends will this be how my life going to be? chasing after a lost star?
Problems and solutions are all just our imagination. This means everything we see now is what we sub consciously created we wanted it to happen so it happen. As humans we will always face troubles and problems but when we are able to cope with it and clear the trouble we are relieve so I'm saying all these is what we actually created ourselves. I'm grateful and happy for those who cared for me and worried for me during my times of crisis and problems. Everyone have their own mindset their own world their own troubles therefore one cannot be perfect without going through this trials...and so...thanks for supporting me...but the problem are cause by me in the first place so it is going to me to destroy this problem. And the same concept apply to all of us.
Patience is not something you can take for granted it takes time and the right people only then you can wait together with them. People with the same mindset will lump together that be the norm but if you are going to accomplish great legend to success you must be the one to be able to galvanize others and implant your ideas and dreams too others only then it will come true. A dream will never come true if you have no one to support it or build it, but no matter how impossible is the dream is if you are able to implant it and galvanize other too see the same vision as you it will come true for it is all in our mind.
And so the story of the last star tells us that no matter how desperate or defeated we are...if we believe truly and do not give up it is ours to take...the star that does not exist will appear...as the last star. Even if it will be the last..what important is it stays in our heart forever...and that is call "Memory of the Heart".
Even if I will eventually disappear or be lost or forgotten...but the times we go through will always remain i will always be in the "Memory of the Heart" of those who hold me dear and they too will remain in mine.
Go forward and never look back...I will always be in everyone heart when you need me no matter where I am whether i exist or i dont...because i will always exist in the hearts of those who trust me.
This would then resurrect the life that is lose. Thus resurrection.

The End 

Resurrection (Chapter 2 Price to pay)

Nothings change nothings gain...everything will only continue to go in circles rounds a vicious cycle that will never end. Yet my empty mind keeps floating off on its own...
Is it accepting the truth or running away from the truth....will this shell remain empty or will it be fill?...
Help...I'm really lost...

Resurrection (Chapter 1 The falling)

how laughable...indeed is funny...Really what the heck is all this?
Just like this something in me snapped...what was i doing the whole time?
Yeah that is the sound of my concious snapping...I really lost hope for anything already..
I'M really sick of this world...really fedup...really tired...screw everything...
Can you realize or see the eyes that have no soul in me? a smiling face but a body with no soul?
Falling in to deprivation.

Resurrection(prologue)

The more we know the more we know we dont know
If eveyones rejects and despise my existence
where would you all be? :)

Even if everyone calls you a liar
Everyones hates you
And the world rejct you
I'll be by yours side
Because i trust u.

Hunger

So this year Famine 30 comes to an end with many nice memories and experience...very tiring too my eye can hardly open and my body is aching all over...T.T how to do tmr presentation??... dam..my stomach...feels awful....my bone like piercing my stomach with sudden movements...ouch...that bloody hurts...hope tmr be ok..wake up early to prepare for presentation (plan too) hope the slp miss out for the pass few days wont wear me out FIGHTO!!

Darkness within

I care for you so much...but all i see now is darkness...there is no future ahead...for me...let it be all gone...goodbye.

Its already a lost shadow there is no way to recover the impact that have happen...in time it will realize itself.
Is okay to hate me just be safe. I wont be a burden for much longer bear with it time is coming to a close
Shadow of the past haunts the present...would the end of this tunnel shows the future light?

Guilt

July 4 July 5 July 6 and July 7...so much have happen that even my mind have a hard time accepting it...good times bad times shock times depressed times disappointment times and guilt times....all these mixes emotion...the more you know the more u lost...On this day..i have lost faith in humanity...in my selves...The one thing I am most clear is now...The guilt i feel...as I know something was wrong...and dare not take action....this guilt...why dint was i so shaken up...is it because i want to save my own skin or my friends or the person at danger...maybe none or all?...I dunno...but this guilt...I do not know how to put it into words now...i'll try to continue tmr...o haha i mean today...

and this quote comes to my mind..." You either die a hero , or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

Goals

Because someone once told me "it's about doing what we love and when we do so money just comes naturally." somehow this phrase have awaken something i left out very long...haha indeed i have forgotten myself sorry for not noticing it earlier >< now i will make that step out to live my dreams i will chase it the chance and everything have been set up for me all the time its just that I'm too blinded by insignificant stuff that i think it is important while ended up hurting myself. Its good to have a goal i guess? even if i end up some place far as long the heart is true i believe we are still connected. It does not matter u made 100 friends all you need is true friends who acknowledge your bad and your good and accept u regardless light cannot exist without shadow vise versa learning to accept is just how it will make things flow thanks for reawakening me and so onwards chase it down hunt it down and make the powers your remember invest in yourself the skill and knowledge learned once it is done it be your forever and u can reproduce it no matter how many times u lost it self development 1st its not about chasing great things its about becoming someone great yourself that will naturally attract greater things to you instead of chasing it so many successfull people have share their secrets but we as typical human wont believe it because we are afraid to change those who are crazy and out of the box are the one who climb out of the crowd and stands above others in the end because they continue to improve themself. they inspire me many times but i think i finally got the message instead of being inspire and idoling them their true message is stop sitting there and do nothing if you know it already stand up and do it yourself. its about growing thanks for everything everyone continue to improve! :D

Eternal Slumber

The wish...The pain...The truth...If i could only close my eyes and fall into a eternal slumber...Somethings will never be appreciated until they are lost..memories lost...affection to insanity you do not know your own limits or powers till your push to your last leg...There are too much stress lately that have been building up inside me..but i continue to smile and move on hiding it...but push to my ends...even i will fall easily...Its really too pain to bear everything alone..why...when I need you you were never there...Am I so insignificant too you?
Loneliness darkness all alone I wish for a eternal slumber.

4 months

And so 2 weeks of holiday have ended and back to college there isn't really anything that have been changed but the thing that have change is that i've become more distant....how did I go through the past 5months? I really very tired le..i could't care less about it anymore cant trust anyone here...very well...they force me..
The only thing I know is there is 4 month left and I have to make it worthwhile time to push tat result. Result is not everything but it is a stepping stone in life to go further...I'll just go by my simple and easy rule from now on too tired too waste anymore time and energy...you respect me I respect you settle don't give me anymore trouble. And so my war begins...haha 2 weeks of craziness they are still the best after all who shape us for who we are are probably our high school life and time that are the truest and purest not bad. From then on we push on...we all know who are the angels and devils around us in the end it all depends on how we balance it. Wishing everyone the best in their journey

Rise and set

PD although nothing much special happen but something inside of me changes...As i watch the sunrise and sunset on that day...something trigger in my heart..."Whatever goes up will always come down"...Is it true?...well most of the time yes....Moving ahead run with time now and begin.
I do not want to artificially prolong anything that was meant to happen only more suffering would come after that short amount of prolong...I accept it as it is..well its not so bad after all I have no regrets so may fate takes its course I'll follow it and make the best out of it. Its the true goodbye live well and chase after dreams Lets all fight for our dreams,beliefs,faiths

Suddenly all of sudden time become so short morning to night seems like nothing=  = too much thing to do not enough time to complete...dang...and keep raining at night and especially when I enter my car the rain gets even bigger...I gonna get sick...O wait..I'm already sick= =....2 days under the rain....this is the weirdest flu..i ever had...losing sound soon?maybe? well appear majority starting school glad to hear>

Ame no namida...

Its 1 am 4th of may...another day has pass and 4 days have pass since entering may..wow
Its been hmm i think 30+o i haven slept?hmm..3rd of may i come to face my truth of current flow of time and come to accept it...At long last i muster courage to move on...for i know there isn't any real truth exist for a terrible person like me...although it hurts to confront the truth...but...at least..i come to a term to myself...
Silently as to my heart beat I notice...how irregular my heart beat is even in the dead of night...memories flash passes me...as tears..slowly flow out of my eye unconsciously...my heart aches...but...is not a kind of pain of sorrow...is a pain of acceptance...a familiar filling...I have..that I've been through a few times...this is one of the most pain one...because the feeling of hang in the middle of no truths...but I guess is a trial i must pass...well but it appears...mentally is familiar...but physically I'm not as in good condition as last time haha...but at least i pull it through...all the way to morning...my eyes are close but my brain and heart..continues it aches...but..i accept it..its my punishment. After i woke up...my eyes was blurry and quite bengkak but oh well><....ah geez...today whole day also rain...dangerous xia...:( another sleepless night?
I dunno?
No one knows how important or how great they are only the people around them that notice their brilliance :) your a great person...please do not condemn yourself any further its no one fault...I accept my foolish mistake as i face the truth...and ready to move on...I hope you will too... I still do care deeply for you...I will still be there for you to help if u ask or call for me :) your not alone remember ;) sorry for burdening you for so long..I know I rely on you way too much..it must have been inconvenient for you right? take care I wish the best for you.
Even the entire day cry as the title says...ame no namida...tears of the rain :') I pick up the mask and put it back on...ready to move forward once again...we are humans afterall...we fall...we hurt...we cry....we stand up...we move on :)
Sorry for all the troubles...Thank you for everything...

exist?perish?

Is there any meaning for my existence?...something jolted my mind...and this question haunts me....blank..hallow....why...why...this feeling...uselessness....yeah...perish.

Hold on believe

Although my whole time nowadays aren't bright and happy but there is still good times...but in this up's and down's of live..this is one of the dark years where i endure the down's...frankly speaking...I don't really like it....but I cant do anything about it...this is discrimination...but..i continue to tell myself..u see the up soon u see it soon...i keep on holding on to this believe...soon...lucky i still have my beloved friends from high school....my dearest people whom i treasure

Downfall

How and why could such thing happen?...is so unfair...but i think i have overpush my limits of my body...its going to fall soon how much longer?haha 1st time tyre punchered speechless experiance for a P driver like me~

Rain..cold

I use all my energy to bat those ball...it felt good...but now muscle pain....heavy rain...felt nice...5 min like that...now...haha no idea...cold...

Binding.broke.bonds

Yesterday was a good day but towards the end...everything started to change...mentally i was flank from every side....i brokedown...i cried...i shouted...pain...everything that has gather right until then...was all erupted at once...my own voice was drain in pain of loss and sadness...i do not mind if i was discrimatd,hated,distrusted...but please dont drag my friends into it too...if u do not trust that much?then wat is the meaning of living...fine i know is my wrong...but there isn't need for such harsh words....i was tottaly blank...but luckily there was people who came and save me...i was very glad...gratefull...i let this breakdown be a lesson for me...and move on i live in the past for far too long...its time to wake up and face it head on...i dont wan to run anymore...thankyou ;)
I hope the best for u too may ur suffering go away and brave enough to do what u want u can do it ;)
Onwards.

I clear it up at last...words that i wish to say...there is nothing more i can do...all is a memory now...its enough for someone like me...back to usual...u can do it...Its enough...everything...
All my happiness will be a distant fairy tale that i chase...sorry thank you goodbye...

White day

14 of march Today is white day a day like valentine where the boys give reply to girls that give them chocolate on 14 feb valentine day and every chocolate have their meaning: White chocolate means I love you, Dark chocolate means Im Available,Cookie chocolate means Im taken. Sadly this is not practice anywhere but in japan only T~T....But still is a reply day....When can i hear ur true voice...your true reply...but I think that is something impossible...Now i only wish our relation will return to when it was back then...Wat actually happen?...why so sudden...Is our relation only till that day?the place where it all started where we bonded....then now that place is no longer here...so our relation disappear too?I dont get it...So now what am I to you now?I really wonder...All that's left is for time to decide...but yet again...I wish time could prolong longer...I do not know when...but I guess is unavoidable...If then I still watch over you over the moon and stars and everyone else...A smile something that can hide one sadness tears that will never be seen...Darkness that envelops the hearts...
Happy White day...As I lie on the sofa and think...this is where memories of you are closests to me...come back....i miss u

weak

Haiz I really sui pei...why so weak?...But then again there isn't much time left...I want to spend as much time with them. Its worth it.. :)

Resolve

There is nothing i can do abt it hope tmr turn out fine :)...i miss you...so near yet so far....our distance...after talking and bonding this few days i know...will i be brave enough?....Anti love...maybe i be one very soon...congratz another cousin wedding le now i and my same age cousin are the next in line...kacau d==...where are you..when i needed u :( sry i know ur busy...im too selfish...I so bad ah..so is my resolve strong enough...even if im the worst...i'll protect those dear to me...im willing to stain my hands to protect them...

2/18/03 luckless??

Today I quite late wake up around 7 45 late jor~@@so i rushed and pack my bag grab a white bread and drive off to school luckily traffic today not vry bad reach school 8 40 late 10 min fine~~then break time I only found out i lupa bring wallet...GG..@@ Hungry...nvm tahan!!@@ then tahan dao 3 30 finish school~go to anime club board of director interview~wow most informal interview ever but fun ppl...then 5 15 le ok nid rush to 1u for tuition jor...ran down...when wan exit..only found out i drop my student ID and season pass!!ran back up lucky got someone help me pick up :) tqtq..save~~then while i walk up the stairs to the car park..a giant moth size bigger than my head fly straight at me give me a shock and i fall down~LEG CHAO GAN! then a little dizzy le@@ again fa zuo le...pain...after like 5 min only i climb bak up go to car...(they should really let my card able to sit lift~keep nid climb ladder quiet and empty de scary~...to make it worse as soon as i drive out it started raining heavily...i take a short cut and when i wan turn out i only found out shit!no wallet how cross toll??i quickly check my car change place..lucky got ngam ngam 3 10 enough for the 2 toll i passin~~whew~~then the rain still rain heavily...doom...i take the wrong turn...turn dao to midvalley tat side tat road...GGzzzz~~then as i pass its toll use le 1.50...1 60 left...LDP toll....oh noo...I had to cancel tuition le cant make it...after jamming for like 2 hours + i reach home....my stomach pain and hungry like hell...feel like wan faint..as soon as i step out of the car i fall down~leg luan le~cham lo...eat dao half way...stomachache...no wei kou eat le...wow...wat a day??@@....Forget wallet end of the world~who say no money no problem?no money big problem...what a streak of misfortune today...

retribution

Valentine have pass...and I fail to muster my courage to deliver my feelings to your heart...I think...its true I could never be blessed with such good thing as love instead suffer worse each time...I'm such a fool...I saw your happiness at that moment...and I knew I had no chance...I have never been able to touched your heart...
Its a nice day of visiting around with friends....but...The side of me I never wanted to let anyone know...Its been awhile and been more recent that it happen...a piercing pain on my chest...I do not know what cause it...but it hurts...until I fall...I feel bad...but I do not know how to solve this sickness....
Time flows...and I notice...I've sunken into darkness....Its me who have change...I see everyone so happy it makes me happy...but at the sad?I hope I could go back...I want to laugh and be happy with everyone...I want more time....Please...even if I suffer...I wish everyone could be happy...Its a retribution I have to pay....I'm really left out....I wan to climb back up....but how...?

Anger

Its been a long time I've been overwhelmed by such anger...And it goes like this...

Finally back from college from the jam for 1 hour Its already 5 30 today tired~~

Then my mom told me later 7 nid fetch my sis fine...wat a drag fetch her then go guitar ba....take a short nap :) then my sis sms me no need fetch her.yessh!! can slp xD 6pm fall asleep...zzz
around 7...receive a sms that wake me up and says:later fetch me always after ur tuition at cassandra hse.FUCK??! Immediatly she call me...my sis...call me go fetch her frm her best friend hse....!! DAHECK? U KIDDING ME?? SAY DONT NID THEN NOW COME BOTHER MY SLP AND ANNOY ME I SCOLD HER A MOUTHFULL THEN CUT HER PHONE...Eat anger dinner to calm myself then after fbing a while calm down around 8 ok time to go out guitar 8 30....call her and tell her that i will come pick her up now prepare.abt 10 min++ of jam reach damansara reach there...she's not there.....Ok great...Im already piss earlier i inform u d still not down?Im not ur taxi driver I not so free tq...phone her scolded her ask her come down anger meter: high...She take her own leisure time to come down like 10 min or so?? then when she come in the car i very angry mood...scold her again...she not feeling sorry or anything but instead argue and scold back...tsk....really pek cek d...drive...Beh tahan it continues as i drive...Slam my fist to my own leg.......calm ...continue to argue....then she punch me in the face...I cant control my anger le straight slap her...and she slap me back....almost ram to a lorry....fine ignore....silent war...drive at 100+ on damansara and 120++ on ldp....got highlighted got horn but too angry to care...almost ram to the corner while u turning the ldp...reach home open door ask her get lost....drive off to guitar class....with some jokes and chatting mood return back to good my guitar teacher is a pro after all and a idiot...one of the most geng student he have that is marry now that couple once quarrel while driving at the highway at 140++ then his wife tell him u argue again i open door n jump out...he say go ahead...and his wife really did it..dafuq?now that is scary anger luckily dint die but injured badly...now tat is scary...so my teacher tell me dun like his student...wow...fine I bear that in mind>< return home...
Now round 2 it starts...as i walk in to the house i good mood d so i plan juz go up play com :) enter house...mom stop me and ask wat happen....this is where it starts again....My sis drama queen crying over that say dao like I beat and slap till she half dead abuse...tears...coming out...and then argue again like i was wrong all.....ok boiling straight up...piss...argue back...lucky i got prove her sms...it was her that give wrong info anyone will get piss...and then still wan me wait when i go get her still complain GOOD!!...big war quarrel and quarrel...my dad...that spoil her...of course help her...so my wrong...but my mom saw my proof....well obviously she is the one..but she cant do anything....tsk...suan..i say sorry then say u so smart next time drive urself tq :) i stop car for u take keys walk out of the house...take a umbrella well its night...juz in case...as i walk out...it started to drizzle..then rain...great..umbrella....walk to my park playground wow...at night its really lonely and dark....walk to the swing...and play...swinging in the rain at night...I gotta be like a mad man==my head was spinning headache...then i fall off the swing...blackout a moment....head spinning...argh...leg pain...earlier i slam my own leg it have blue black...wow was i tat angry?....then i take of my slippers and walk the refisologi rocks or watever...after like 5 min....ok d...calm...fine...can d...the rain now only stop lol kidding me==??walk home....end of story...sis n dad sleeping d...then chat wif mom...told her my teacher story so dun quarrel wif dad dun jump off car><....bring blankets and lap top down...shower...ok to9 slp sofa... :) now abit dizzy and cold...I think i fallen sick@@...wow...think back i almost lose my life few times today due to extreme anger...never felt that piss for so long....now my leg 2 patch of blue black fail@@.....Anger outburst is truly scary....I dint know I can be this scary...thinking back...My scoldings could hurt anyone...its too true and anger...Must control...No more next time i could lost my life while driving in anger...So that is how bad I am...haiz...So to anyone reading this....careful of ur anger..u could lose alot...sorry.

5W1H

Where am I now....

Why is this happening...

Who shall I seek...

When will this be cleared...

What have gone wrong...

How I'm going to escape this...

Goodbye....

Story

FORWARD , BACKWARD...
TIME IS AN AMBIGUOUS THING...
THE PLACE WHERE WE CURRENTLY STANDS IS BOTH THE PAST AND ALSO THE PRESENT...
WHATEVER HAPPENS FROM NOW ON...
IS THE FUTURE!
YOU AREN'T CHANGING THE PAST
YOU ARE CREATING YOUR OWN FUTURE..!!

Someone in my dreams told me this...and then I awoke from this nightmare :) somehow deep inside me...I awaken truly now I'm ready to step ahead its I've been clinging to the past way too much for way to long...But each time I would stand back up but walk straight into the same wall again how stupid :P yet I've haven given up.
We are all the main characters of our own story...
Therefore we are the Hero/Heroine of this story, It will be too boring and lame if the hero of the story always falls and never stands up to put up a good show isn't it? :)
So never be depressed for too long always remember to stand back up no matter what happens and always aim the Impossible as long we don't give up the future will always be in out reach.

Reach out for those dreams of yours even if I cant be by your side...I will watch over you from the shadows...but if you're ever in trouble I will be by your side to save you and bring you back up...never give up never lose hope fight for the future.

Don't stay in our safe zone forever get out there and make our own story interesting and make a worthy future...leaving our names to be legend for future generation that is a worth life for the history.A perfect legendary story of our own. :)
STAND UP NOW! AWAKEN !

Namida...

Eh...what is this??..tears...funny...without knowing...tears roll down my cheek...I think I'm really drunk... :')

wait?goodbye?no idea.. xD

This feeling...yeah...there is no denying it...I've fallen once again...><...but...till now i could not muster the courage to tell u...even if i do you wont hear it...Im curious of ur reply...and scare at the same time...TT then again...those moments spend with u are very memorable n treasure to me....well...3 more days n i start my school...ah~...busy life ahead...but this feeling...I know it stays oh noo~~>< wish my health allow me...goodbye no idea...

confused feelings? happiness to sadness....what have happen...I...saite...orewa hontoni satei no nigen...kirai...

Last forever

This time really feel like the last jor...T~T...I really want every moment to last forever.....but now everyone paths has started to diverge...this is a reality we must accept....oh well...Wish them all the best in their own road...Will they still remember me later on?I hope will....no matter how far we all may go I believe we all still have a bond that bind us together :). Life is fragile we must treasure every moment we have while we live...just 2 days ago friday night..I almost lost mine...just a few more inches i be squash flat><...Life...reality is cruel but i believe we can overcome it...I hope everyone still can have a great time together and enjoy soon~Really love this moments with everyone<3 p="p">Now when will my angel appear?who will be that someone that accept me...Or maybe im just a very bad guy tat is why noone wants? TT who knows only time will tell.