Ame no namida...

Its 1 am 4th of may...another day has pass and 4 days have pass since entering may..wow
Its been hmm i think 30+o i haven slept?hmm..3rd of may i come to face my truth of current flow of time and come to accept it...At long last i muster courage to move on...for i know there isn't any real truth exist for a terrible person like me...although it hurts to confront the truth...but...at least..i come to a term to myself...
Silently as to my heart beat I notice...how irregular my heart beat is even in the dead of night...memories flash passes me...as tears..slowly flow out of my eye unconsciously...my heart aches...but...is not a kind of pain of sorrow...is a pain of acceptance...a familiar filling...I have..that I've been through a few times...this is one of the most pain one...because the feeling of hang in the middle of no truths...but I guess is a trial i must pass...well but it appears...mentally is familiar...but physically I'm not as in good condition as last time haha...but at least i pull it through...all the way to morning...my eyes are close but my brain and heart..continues it aches...but..i accept it..its my punishment. After i woke up...my eyes was blurry and quite bengkak but oh well><....ah geez...today whole day also rain...dangerous xia...:( another sleepless night?
I dunno?
No one knows how important or how great they are only the people around them that notice their brilliance :) your a great person...please do not condemn yourself any further its no one fault...I accept my foolish mistake as i face the truth...and ready to move on...I hope you will too... I still do care deeply for you...I will still be there for you to help if u ask or call for me :) your not alone remember ;) sorry for burdening you for so long..I know I rely on you way too much..it must have been inconvenient for you right? take care I wish the best for you.
Even the entire day cry as the title says...ame no namida...tears of the rain :') I pick up the mask and put it back on...ready to move forward once again...we are humans afterall...we fall...we hurt...we cry....we stand up...we move on :)
Sorry for all the troubles...Thank you for everything...